Politics, Violence, Centrism, and Guillotines

I wrote a thing the other day on my Facebook that ended up causing some consternation:

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It should be first noted that this was little more than a casual, random thought, a variation on a theme I’ve shared before. Take this lazy meme-a-thingie I posted long long ago on November 22, 2016:

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I should think the basic sentiment is obvious: politics is the continuation of violence by other means, to echo von Clausewitz. In the universe which we inhabit, force is the only method by which things may happen. They must be caused, not willed, and the best way to do this has often been to randomize the mass in critical areas of other people’s bodies and acquire their stuff. Through a massive (and comical) amount of trial and error, we’ve slowly discovered violence isn’t a particularly efficient form of getting things done and ought to be used more sparingly. As an alternative, we’ve turned to Politics *dramatic music*, creating a new battlefield out of whole cloth that has at least as much consequence as the old, but is fought on with ballets instead of bullets.

I am a very clever writer.

The problem is that people forget this basic history and seem to want to think that violence is a dirty relic of a ancient era of barbarism, a cadaver of Voldemort we mustn’t ever name again. I will remind them that we in the First World killed, like, 100 million people in our last major war less than a century ago. We’re not so far from violence as we like to believe. The clean, polite, gentlemanly political systems we’ve worked so hard to build over the centuries are, like everything else we’ve ever built, very fragile things. They rest upon an abstract sense of “legitimacy,” a scholastic word that means “buying into nice-sounding bullshit.” None of this “democracy” stuff is objectively real. Ballots are just pieces of paper. Their power, influence, and authority exist entirely in our minds. Ergo, it’s very important to ensure our political systems remain something people can continue to buy into without feeling like chumps or suckers. If we’re going to continue playing this artificial game of politics in order to not play a slightly less artificial game of killing each other, enough people need to think the game is fair and has sensible rules. Otherwise that relic might seem appealing to them again.

Which brings us to that Theoretical Republican Senator of 2050-something I mentioned. Let’s call him, uh, Don Eagle, because freedom or something. Don Eagle is part of the Republican Party, which is currently really keen on putting a fifth judge on the Supreme Court of the United States so that they’ll have a majority out of nine judges, which they can then use to force their ideological vision of America onto a huge majority of Americans. The more popular topic of discussion of the moment is Roe v. Wade, but given that Americans support that ruling by a solid 2-1 margin, I’m a little skeptical as to whether their potential cabal might actually pull that lever instead of bunting the question to the states. What worries me about this cabal is more, you know, global warming, that thing we have maybe ten years to really do anything about before we enter completely uncharted territory, dealing with climate parameters no human has ever dealt with before. Can you guess what a hardline conservative majority on SCOTUS would say to, I dunno, magical bipartisan legislation in 2024 (which will definitely happen) that might move the dial a bit away from utter disaster?

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Again, a decade.  Meanwhile in the decade, SCOTUS conservatives strike down every attempt to reduce the effects of climate change at any level: federal, state, local, and it’s pretty obvious as to why: it’s not because they sincerely believe in keeping Big Bad Brother from butting into your very private affair of spewing carbon into the atmosphere that everyone and everything else depends on, so obviously nobody has any legitimate reason to be interested in it ever, certainly not the GOVERNMENT, but because they’re ideological hacks who couldn’t care less if that’s a reasonable position to hold on such a vital issue. Couch it in whatever legal gobbledygook you like, but eventually people will catch on. This would turn SCOTUS into nothing more than an arm of the Republican Party for a lot of people, i.e., not an independent watchdog of the law. Guess where that goes after enough mistakes.

So when I say that, yeah if you remove yourself 30-odd years into the future, where global warming is likely to be much more Serious Business with increasingly longer, more brutal summers, Miami under water, and China finding out the hard way that aging is a thing that happens, you can imagine the people of that era being sick and tired of our crap. I’m gonna be sixty in 2048. I wouldn’t be surprised if my great nephews or whoever might be a little pissed when they ask me why we didn’t do anything to stop this and all I have for them is this lame “Well, you see, rules were rules at the time.” If we screw it up so badly, they might decide to kill us all, especially Don Eagle crowing haughtily lifetime appointments for their guys in fancy robes who keep hindering every attempt to address the problem that’s making everyone miserable and/or dead. Should ballots stop working, they’ll go back to bullets. And why wouldn’t they? What rational person would persist with something ineffectual that no longer serves even its ostensible purpose? Returning to violence as a tool for resolving social disputes wouldn’t be a good thing, but it would make perfect sense to the people doing it, and none of the arguments from our time would mean anything to them. What good is politeness or civility if this is where it got them?

So, can we not bring back guillotines? Can we not let things get so awful to the point where that seems like the sane alternative? By the way, that doesn’t mean being more nice to people. It means getting off your cozy fence and putting your feet down on some uncomfortable ground. There’s a growing consensus around many important issues that’s going to leave a lot of people out in the cold: climate change is real and we need to act; women and minorities still aren’t getting a fair chance; the rich don’t pay what they should; big companies have too much power. There are a myriad of ways to go about fixing these problems, but the problem isn’t that we’re too mean to each other when discussing that myriad. The problem is that too many people don’t agree these are problems in the first place. They think they’re lies or hoaxes. What do you say to that? Like, what’s the compromise? Seriously, what is it?

Remember how I said politics is a battlefield? Well, what’s happening in our country right now isn’t a new era of incivility we ought to lament, but the culmination of a protracted war between two opposing sides whose views are incompatible. This isn’t the first time this has happened: we used bullets once instead. We’ve only gotten to this point because all attempts to find common ground have failed. None of this would be happening if there were any left. Too many people in too many important positions think global warming is a Chinese gimmick or something, and they can’t be reasoned with. They have to be defeated first and driven from the battlefield. Once that camp isn’t a viable political force, then we can hash out how much of the free market and government we want to use to stop the world from burning.

Until then, being too fixated on the mere ugliness of politics just brings us one step closer to Don Eagle’s unfortunate date with a giant French bread-slicer.

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This is one of Giphy’s search results for “guillotine” and now nothing makes less sense.

Boku no Hero Academia – 3.5

 

BHA Season 3
I predict there will be lots of punching and shouting.
  • Boring intro meant to cut animation costs is boring.
    • It’s not like we need a recap on Deku’s boilerplate motivations.
  • This opening has grown on me. Hard to believe Uverworld is still around.
    • Remember them in Bleach? You know, when it was good?
      • Approximately 13 billion years ago.
  • This is the gayest fight in BHA so far.
    • Complete with a money shot.
      • Oh, stop it, you were thinking it. It’s 2018. No one has an excuse to be that oblivious anymore, not even Japan.
        • Especially Japan.
  • “Delaware Detroit Smash.”
    • lolwat? What the fuck does that mean?
      • Do the Japanese know that Delaware and Detroit have, like, no relation to each other except for sheer alliteration?
        • (No, they don’t.)
  • Why is Facepalm still in this shitty bar? I swear he’s been here for fifty years.
    • Is the bar named “Expo?” It’s like where 90% of the exposition in this series takes place, that and Deku’s magically functioning abused cranium.
      • Who pays the bills for this place? Who keeps the lights on? Does Facepalm have a part-time job at Wendy’s downstairs?
        • Is that why he’s so pissed at everything?
    • Now he’s using an easy-to-animate RPG frame to describe this basic setup because last week’s episode inhaled the animation budget.
      • I wonder if Mr. Black Hole even knows what an RPG is.
        • “What the fuck is a simulation game?” -Mr. Black Hole
          • Who has been polishing the exact same glass for ten episodes now.
    • So, Facepalm plan involves spreading dissent in this superhuman society or whatever. Considering a lingering 20% of it is normies, who are at this point literal lesser beings compared to their superhuman counterparts, it’s amazing the society is intact to begin with.
      • Like, Deku’s non-Quirk life up until now suuuucked, and that was just high-school bullshit. I can only imagine how miserable life is for those adults who don’t have superpowers.
      • I don’t think anyone’s gonna listen to a guy with a hand in his face, though. It’d be really awkward.
      • His plan also involves the “Vanguard Action Squad of the League of Villains.”
        • Whose assignment is to….attack a bunch of random teenagers.
          • And this fits into the above Keikaku…how?
    • “It doesn’t matter if they succeed or fail.” -Facepalm
      • Um, dude? Yes, it does.
        • For example, if they fail absolutely miserably, then these kids won’t be scared of them.
          • Maybe you should consult the Heart of the Cards again.
    • Wait wait wait, why does Facepalm have a random picture of Bakugo?
      • I’m not sure what subtext I should infer from this.
    • “In a society bound by rules, we’re not the only ones being oppressed.” -Facepalm
      • lolwat?
        • That makes no sense.
          • Are you implying Bakugo is being oppressed? I’m pretty sure he’s as privileged a shithead as they come.
    • STOP TELLING US WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE. I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN THEIR NAMES IN THE PAST SEVEN DAYS.
      • Except for Facepalm.
        • And Mr. Blackhole.
          • And, like, all the villains.
            • And half the heroes.
              • Hmm.
    • Deku protests he’s fine right after almost passing out on his feet with blood pouring down his face.
      • Deku might be mistaken.
    • Don’t worry, Deku. The obligatory Shounen power-ups will take care of this situation juuuuuuuuuuust fine.
    • “I’ll leave this villain here for now.” -Deku, a moron
      • THERE’S NO WAY ANY OF THESE TWENTY ASSUMPTIONS WILL PROVE MISPLACED.
    • How incredibly convenient Kota’s Quirk is exactly what they need to deal with a forest fire.
      • Later Kota will grow up to be a mobile fire-hose or pressure-washer.
        • He’ll die poor and forgotten.
          • YAY SUPERHERO SOCIETY.
    • Now we cut back to Eraser and this random asshole.
      • “Dabi.” Thanks, anime.
        • “This is about as much damage as I can take.” -Dabi, in case you forgot in the past second. Which I almost did.
          • So…you suck?
            • CONFIRMED IN THE NEXT SCENE.
              • BRILLIANT DEDUCTION, ME.
    • Is that Deadpool?
      • His name is “Twice.”
        • …………..
          • Is he bi? Is that his quirk? He can change his sexual orientation at will?
            • I assume there’s a better reason that’s his name.
              • Foolishly.
          • Oh, I guess he has two personalities.
            • …I was very wrong.
    • Wait wait wait, Eraser ran maybe 20 meters and he runs into Deku. So how did nobody hear or see his fight between him and Muscles, let alone help him?
    • Gotta say, these fights aren’t particularly exciting.
      • The Cat-Drag-Queen makes up for a bit, though.
        • “Cat Combat,” ha. You silly Asians and your Engrish.
    • Oh look, it’s Shredder.
      • Correction: a legally distinct Ninja Turtles Reference.
    • WAIT WHAT NOW DEKU’S HERE ARE THESE PEOPLE ALL TEN FEET FROM EACH OTHER
      • How much did they pay off Continuity this time?
    • Dabi is lamer than lame. I can’t even begin to care.
    • So, uh, exactly why do these kids whose profession is mortal combat need verbal permission to engage in mortal combat?
      • I’m pretty sure any court would understand the situation.
        • Also seems like something UA wouldn’t ever worry about.
          • But no, gotta manufacture tension somehow.
    • Good God, Kota. How dumb are you?
      • Sure, you’re a shithead kid, but it’s still pretty baffling how you just can’t wrap your head around the concept of a hero.
        • Oh hey, my commemorative Anvil from Anime Moralizing Inc. just came in the mail. What great timing.
          • I MUST SMASH SOMETHING WITH IT.
            • NOW KOTA UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A HERO.
              • DO YOU GET IT?
                • NO? MORE HAMMER TIME THEN.
    • Eraser, given how overpowered your Quirk is, you have about ten million things better to do than take eight hours to cover ground that Deku lept over in literally seconds.
    • Deku continues his habit of refusing to listen to the most basic advice.
      • JESUS CHRIST, DEKU, CALL HIM BY HIS NAME.
        • Ha ha, double entendre.
          • Bakugo and Deku, sittin’ in a tree.
    • Oh look, these villains are incompetent and uncoordinated.
      • Facepalm’s Master “Plan” is going swimmingly.
    • “THAT IS SHIGARAKI’S PERSONAL DESIRE” -Spinner
      • …did a robot write that?
        • Also, who’s “Shigaraki”?
    • OH MY GOD FINALLY SOMEONE DID SOMETHING SMART.
      • Catwoman punched that scene to death. You go, girl.
    • Now Bakugo’s being stupid. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
    • Generic-Eldritch-Man. Or whatever. I don’t care.
    • It’s a fucking wonder that Bakugo is even alive.
    • LOOOOOL HIS QUIRK IS COMICALLY EXTENDING HIS TEETH INTO GIANT BLADES?
      • AND HIS NAME IS “MOONFISH”?
        • HA HA HA HA.
          • THAT’S SO STUPID. HA HA HA HA HA HA.
            • THIS IS GREAT.
    • Oh yes, Todoroki, you A-list anime protagonists should be sooooooooooooooooo worried about a little forest fire. It’s not like you can leap skyscrapers in a single bound or anything.
    • Hey, uh, Todoroki. Since you both have combustion powers, why not just create an explosion that clears the area and disperses the gas?
      • Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur.
    • “I’m not stupid!” -some dumbass whose name I can’t remember
      • Boy, it would be nice if there were a caption to oh there it is.
    • Wait, Spinner and Big-Lips are up again? They both took blows to the fucking face.  What.
      • Ugggh.
        • The pacing in this arc is shitty so far.
    • Um, no. You run *away* from the epicenter of the gas, kids.
    • HOLY SHIT A GUN.
      • THERE ARE GUNS IN THIS UNIVERSE.
        • AND THEY’RE VISIBLE.
    • Woman. Might want to do something about Colonel Mustard here.
      • Also, this is why you don’t run toward the danger.
        • Now she’s lecturing this random asshole about using a gun like a smart person.
          • Well, that’s over. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn.
    • Yay, Falco’s back. Hooray!
      • Oh.
        • Oh.
          • Welp, they’re fucked.